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How Being Happy Is Always More Complicated Than You Think

Three years ago I registered the domain “sassandbalderdash.com” and began planning the early content that would lay the foundation for this blog. Three years is significant. In that time, I could’ve gone to law school or served a jail sentence for carjacking. If you’ve taken the LSAT, you’ll feel me when I say I’m not sure which of those outcomes might have been more likely.

September 2012 was a time of big changes in my life, the first real autumn of my existence that I could feel in my bones. I had been out of college with an English degree for four months struggling to land interviews, and my weight loss had just reached the milestone of 110 pounds. I was restless, jaded by optimism, and for the first time, I was genuinely fearful that everything wouldn’t turn out okay the way it always seemed it would when there was something preordained to look forward to, like another year of school. In more ways than one, this little blog made me understand happiness, resurrected the writer in me, and empowered me to dream bigger.

Perhaps the biggest regret of my life–the one that weighs heavy on my morning commute and that sneaks into the spotlight in my mind when I close my eyes at night–is that I convinced myself writing could never be anything more than a hobby, the treadmill to exhaust a vibrant imagination. Writing online has introduced me to so many other writers, bloggers, and authors, many of whom are my generational peers, who have been working in their field for years. Their LinkedIn pages map a focused progression from college, to an internship, to the entry level job that got their foot in the door, to the coveted position they hold now as hard-working individuals with veritable professional experience. I’ve romanticized the experience of these Writers because I know I’ll never be one of them, which isn’t to say I won’t write, but I’ll never be able to boast that I knew in college that I wanted to pursue writing as both a passion and profession.

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