So apparently Lance Armstrong finally admitted what we all knew to be true, that he took “performance-enhancing drugs” and participated in blood doping to win the Tour De France all those times. The news is keeping us apprised of all the startling details, and the world is shocked and outraged, and people are criticizing Armstrong for not being “apologetic” enough. Are you kidding me? How is anyone surprised by how unapologetic he is–he’s been lying about his innocence for years! This clearly isn’t someone that was struggling with any kind of inner-turmoil about whether to come forward or not, as evidenced by his choice to explain to everyone what the definition of what cheating is on Oprah, and to give the world some line of bullshit about a “level playing field.” Dude, you’re wrong, you lied, and now you’ve confirmed what we all already knew; it’s time to go into hiding and keep a low profile for a while. Who’s handling this guy’s PR?
I think the news outlets running the gauntlet with this story–which frankly I find to be very old news–need to pick up a thesaurus and find another way to say “the disgraced cyclist.” I’ve seen/heard that everywhere. What about the shamed bike-rider? The besmirched biker! Since they’re digging this story out of the grave again, can they at least make it interesting?
Look, what Lance Armstrong did was wrong, he’s an asshole for lying about it and for tainting the reputation of the sport, but by now he’s been stripped of his titles, he has a lifetime ban, and Nike won’t even hawk his LIVESTRONG crap anymore. Former friends (read: washed-up fellow athletes looking for their 15 minutes of fame because they met Lance Armstrong somewhere once) are coming forward to offer their interviews about what a jerk he is. To top it all off, now there’s talk of civil lawsuits and of prosecuting him for perjury–can we let this die already? I know it’s difficult what with Armstrong showing up everywhere to make an ass out of himself and put his human growth hormone-enhanced foot in his mouth, but I think it’s time we stop giving this matter so much media attention, and let Lance go hang his head and blood dope in peace.
Haven’t they heard Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West’s baby? That’s what we really need to be talking about now!