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I Saw My Cat’s Penis for the First Time

I Saw My Cat’s Penis for the First Time

4.) Jan 2013 (94)

And it was as awkward and uncomfortable as it is seeing anyone else’s penis for the first time on accident.


I’ve never been the type to actually want to go places or do things on weeknights after work, so on Tuesday night at my boyfriend Mike’s apartment my bra was off and my belly was full; I was essentially killing time until it was an acceptable hour to go to sleep. Mike and me were lying in bed watching each of Amazon’s five new TV pilots so we can make an informed decision when casting our vote for the show that becomes their next original series (I’m torn between Hand of God and Really, if anyone else is doing this). My cat Rory (AKA Kitty, Rorschach, big man kitty) was lounging on the corner of the bed near my feet, idly flicking his tail and attentively watching the TV like he always does when he’s feeling sociable.

Rory is the first cat I’ve ever owned and also my first male pet. As a result, I don’t really know a lot about animal dicks. Truthfully, I don’t even fully understand regular, human dicks, so why anyone should have any expectation I’d understand the functionality or expected appearance of my cat’s dick is beyond me. Rationally, I knew he had a penis somewhere, but I don’t think many people (myself included) give a lot of thought to their pet’s sexual organs, except when they’re getting spayed or neutered, humping is happening, or there’s some kind of health issue. I casually assumed Rory had some kind of member, but I thought it was enshrouded in a tuft of black and white fur somewhere by his tail/butthole area. Maybe it has whiskers. I DON’T KNOW. I’ve never gone looking for it because one, that’s weird, and two, he’s my sweet wittle whisker puss boy who doesn’t have sex (and I’m so sorry about that, but I try to give him a good life anyway).

We had Rory neutered before we took him home from the animal shelter, and I’ll fully admit I have no idea what the neutering process is. I assume it’s just an animal vasectomy? I really don’t know. I’ve done my share damning Google searches over the years, and I really don’t think adding “cat dicks” or “cat neutering process” is going to help exonerate me from any search term-based accusations of wrongdoing someday. So, okay, I guess part of me thought it was possible my darling cat had been castrated and made into a eunuch. I never said that out loud because, again, I have no reason to talk about my cat’s member (and part of me knew that just didn’t seem quite right).

Whenever Rory cleans his nether regions, my boyfriend and me would joke that he was licking his “pink thing.” I thought that was just the silly way we humanized our cat doing something animalistic and socially frowned upon (except for guys letting their minds wander). Well, the other day I learned that “pink thing” was a lot more accurate than I realized.

Rory left his perch at the end of the bed and came up to rub his whiskered face against my own because he’s my feline twin soul/best friend/bae.

4.) Jan 2013 (94)

5.) Feb 2013 (56)
3.) Dec 2012 (12)

Lately, one his favorite pastimes has been kneading the comforter on the bed (which involves making little fists with his claws out over and over again, for all you catless folks). My boyfriend was trying to pet him mid-knead, so I promptly screamed at him because I was PMSing and I hate when he interrupts my sweet kitty cat while he’s kneading. Once Rory had his fill of kneading, he started cleaning himself. Usually I try to avert my gaze to give him a little privacy during his bathing process, but when he reached one of his back legs toward the sky, I caught a glimpse of something I’d never, ever seen before.

His pink thing.

It was not furry at all, but it was indeed pink. It looked like a pointy, engorged worm that would travel through your ear canal to get into your brain. It looked like a miniature, penisy version of the vampires in The Strain.

Screen Shot 2014-09-05 at 4.41.25 AM

“I can see his pink thing!!!!!!!!!!!” I told Mike in horror. He thought it was hysterical. Apparently, he had already seen Rory’s pink thing long ago, but I have no idea why he wouldn’t tell me that cats have retractable penises that look oddly menacing for something smaller than my pinky finger.

Now that I’ve seen that’s what Rory has going on, I feel like our entire relationship has changed. I mean, I liken what happened between us to a mother walking in on her teenage son jerking off with a full bottle of Jergens on the nightstand beside him. It was obvious he was likely licking his pink thing for pleasure, not cleanliness, so I had to wonder—does the blanket kneading give Rory a kitty boner? Every time he’s purring, does his pink thing sneak out for an appearance? Do cats ejaculate? When he sleeps on my pillow by my head, is it possible there’s funny business going on?

As a post-pink thing viewing female owner of a male cat, I feel this strange need to be more aware of his masculinity. At least with a human boy their little wee-wee is out there from the jump, and eventually they’ll pee on your face when you’re changing their diaper, so you’re really forced to accept that they have junk. We’ve had Rory for over two years now, and this is the first appearance his pink thing has made in my presence. Is he in his teenage phase now? Is there a cat puberty? In two years’ time he’s seen me naked, creeped on me in the shower, and had serious some voyeuristic tendencies. I’m not so vain as to think my charms transcend the bounds of species attraction, but it all feels a little weird now that I’ve seen my cat’s dick. HE HAS A TINY, THREATENING DICK.

Take a second and think about your pets as sexual beings for a second. I mean, sure, we rationally know that they have those parts, but this is why it’s so horrifying when a dog humps your leg: we don’t want to think about our pets having sexual urges. It’s weird and oddly complicates our relationship. Part of the reason everyone loves their pets so much is they don’t have to concern themselves with another entity’s sex life (unless you choose to breed them). They’re just our furry, asexual best friends who aren’t judgmental or horny and derive all the pleasure they need in life from our pleasant company and scratches under the chin.

I’m going to try to act the same around Rory, but there’s definitely a weird vibe every time he cleans himself or purrs unusually loudly. I also think it might be weird because I feel weird about it, but I can’t help it. When you learn your cat has a pointy, pink penis, it makes you bashful. He’s still my baby, though. (And if ever anyone needed more proof, I’m still a crazy cat lady.)

PS: Okay, so I said the hell with it. I Googled it, AND IT’S A PENILE SPINE. According to Wikipedia: “Upon withdrawal of a cat’s penis, the spines rake the walls of the female’s vagina, which may cause ovulation.” Too much realness. Ladies, never scoff at a small penis again because other creatures have SPINES.

Do you have any weird sex stories about your pets (that aren’t anything like how that question sounds or I’ll call the police on you)?

Katie Hoffman

Katie Hoffman is a writer living in the suburbs of Chicago. She enjoys leftovers, lunges, and laughs.

35 Comments

  1. ScorpionGlow September 5, 2014

    LMAO! I am about to adopt my first male kitten ever, and now you’ve got me concerned. I HAVE actually thought about it because, having never had a male pet before, I know it’s got to be there somewhere. Thankfully he was neutered young, maybe that’s a plus. Maybe I should just stick to female pets.

    1. Yolanda YDK Kennedy December 22, 2016

      OMG you guys are going to laugh at me however it was my usual morning I’m very ill fibromyalgia and Guillain-Barre syndrome so mostly I’m stuck in bed and prior to my son leaving 2go visit with his brother he had come into the room and dumped this kitten on me and I’m like what am I supposed to do with this? Well he knows how I feel about animals and people taking responsibility and accountability for their pet. With that said he named the cat savvy we were so clueless I was for sure that he was a girl until just this morning I saw daddy cleaning herself her genital Parts as I walk back from the bathroom and this little pink thing sticking up??? I do not like ignorance whatsoever it is a big pet peeve of mine. Yes it’s humorous I said a pet peeve… back to savvy God so help me I think Sammy the bull but I’m still not sure with her thin frame her soft meows and her cute little face that looks so feminine don’t laugh at me I don’t approve of gay people but I don’t judge them I’m a firm believer Live and Let Live God’s job is the judges and there is no way I’m stepping in on my Lord and Savior ground or territory. However for the last 2 months because the She I thought I had was so little we were feeding her baby milk and everything and she would come and milk off of my heating blanket which I thought was weird she my right side by side with me in just milk on it because she was so tiny I didn’t stop her and she grew over the month I’m thinking I think I need to wean her from this or maybe she would ween herself. I’m still dumbfounded maybe I’m sitting here in a disbelief all this time I thought I had a girl kitten and I would have to take her to get her neutered because I know they make those outrageous calls when they’re in heat that could literally drive you crazy. The only other experience I have with kittens was 1 years ago before I joined the war which you know you lose memories when the brain is overloaded and then I had a Maine Coon which my dog unfortunately kills I knew for sure Carly was a girl and that’s Carly with the k it’s just spelling it this way unfortunately I have to talk my words instead of typing them due to injuries in the war however somebody please answer me. Is this a boy? I don’t want it to change our relationship but I think it has to some extent as I sit here and watch what I was so sure of was a little girl my little darling girl inshot curled up at my feet as always and when I sleep she sleeps on my chest or on my side protecting me even from my own chihuahuas. I feel like an idiot if this is a boy which I’m for sure now it is a boy I’m just in denial. I don’t know I really don’t I don’t know how the organs of cats look I’m not going there and I’m not going down there I’m not taking her to a veterinarian I can’t afford it right now I am asking for some serious help you folks do I have a Savage instead of savvy LOL and those who knew Fred Savage as they grew up the star male from The Wonder Years. Now I feel like I’m part of The Wonder Years I’m wondering if I have a boy or a girl I know this is hilarious to some of you because of all the cliches but this is just truly how I speak I’m just me. I’m stunned thinking all this time I had a girl calling her mama’s little girl she follow me everywhere even to the bathroom shower at the kitchen she sits at the bar still waiting for me to give her some food and now I’m finding out maybe she is a damn he you guys have to excuse my rambling this is a shock to and I’m a little overwhelmed because I have PTSD from the war and this cat has really calms me having the PTSD. Please be a darling and help me do I have a boy because if so I need to correct the name immediately. Thank you all in advance for tolerating my rambling and I don’t know if it’s a good sense of humor or bad one nervous Mommy right now other kitten that I was so sure with a girl boy was I wrong seeing the clichés just keep coming and it’s not being done purposely trust me it’s just the way I talk. Thank you again in advance and have a wonderful holiday season.

  2. FitsofWit September 5, 2014

    I own two male rabbits. Before we got them neutered they would hump the ish out of eachother. I’m all for gay rights so I was like “Awesome! I have two proud, liberal bunnies!” Well, they started spraying their ummm.. stuff… all over the place. Then one day I went to give them food and one of them JIZZED ON MY HAND.
    Now they are neutered and no longer have urges and we act like it never happened. Sometimes though I’m pretty sure they joke about it to one another. Bastards.

    1. Katie September 5, 2014

      Liberal bunnies–I love it! But that would also freak me out, because their STUFF has to be super potent because look at the rabbit population. I guess “going at it like rabbits” is accurate!

      But jizz on the hand is so unacceptable. From what I read it doesn’t sound like that’s what happens with cats, so I’m hoping my head/hair is safe while I’m sleeping.

  3. The Hungry Dog's Lair September 5, 2014

    I’ve never seen the penile spine of my cat, but I know it’s there. I think the weirdest thing I’ve been subjected to is a dog humping my leg, but that’s settled easily enough. Love the story though.

    1. Katie September 5, 2014

      I hope you never see it, because it’s just shocking. And even now that I know what it is, I don’t feel any better about it. My female dog sometimes humps the stairs (it’s not even a hump really, like she sits up and it’s more like a high school Homecoming dance grind sesh), and I always pretend she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’m very prude about my pets’ sexuality.

  4. Katie September 5, 2014

    The first thing my brother said upon seeing my little baby Frank was how huge a penis he had for such a small dog. Frank doesn’t just have a constant boner, my brother was referencing what I’m going to call the sheath (it is strangely large). I have seen both my male dogs’ penises because dogs get weird, out of place boners just like teenage boys. It’s not sexual, they don’t even have balls or sperm anymore. The penises and the humping don’t bother me at all. However, when my boys hump my sister’s precious girl dog she throws a fit.

    1. Katie September 5, 2014

      Oh man, I remember when I was younger there was a Golden Retriever that used go for walks (with its owner) on my friend’s block, and we stopped to pet it pretty regularly and its penis (sheath?) was HUGE. And the dog’s name was Rocky. (That isn’t why we petted him by the way, it was just an idle observation.)

      My boyfriend keeps teasing me about this and calling Rory’s pink thing a “red rocket” now. So obviously we might have to break up because that’s completely weird and unacceptable.

      1. Katie September 5, 2014

        My sister calls it the red rocket too. I’m not sure if it’s break up worthy, but you know your deal breakers.

  5. oneawkwardyear September 5, 2014

    oh god. I have no weird sex pet stories but this is both hilarious and disturbing and I hope you and Rory can work through it together!

  6. the Prodigal Orphan September 5, 2014

    You’ve never truly seen a cat’s ding-a-ling unless and unti

    Never mind.
    Not going there.
    Suffice it to say there is an enzyme spray you can get to remove the odor.

  7. goldfish September 5, 2014

    My last cat masturbated nearly every day of his life and he lived to be seventeen years old. He was fixed, but it didn’t seem to matter. 😐

  8. Kitt Crescendo September 8, 2014

    A few years ago, we went to visit my brother and sister-in-law and brought our sweet little female puppy. They had a horny, old male pug. My hubby was traumatized when that pug tried to mount his darling, innocent princess. Of course she had longer legs, so when he tried to climb on, she just stood up and he fell over. Of course, a couple days later we walked in to find that same innocent princess trying to “clean” his unit…with her tongue. I can’t tell you how hard I laughed as he freaked. Dogs will be dogs.

  9. Carpark 7 September 22, 2014

    I had the exact same experience with my cat Lupin! It was a troubling time – I couldn’t get changed in the same room as him for a while. He’s back to being my smushy baby now, but when he starts plumping cushions, I have to leave.

  10. crazy cat mom January 8, 2015

    I was rubbing my male cat Blackie on his belly and out of no where his penis got erect. He was purring and then I noticed he looked as if he was sleeping and he was still sticking his thing out. Why? And is it normal?

  11. Sophia January 26, 2015

    I came across your post while googling “male cat in heat symptoms” because tonight when I came home from work, my cat was licking himself and I saw his pink thing for the first time too! I freaked out as well, because Milo is my little boy. He’s my innocent cute little kitty and I certainly didn’t want to see him that way!! He’s going to get neutered on Thursday and I was so worried that he was going to start spraying all over my apartment or something! But anyways I’m so glad someone else was horrified like myself!!

    1. Sophie August 27, 2016

      Yeah! My cat isn’t neutered yet (soon.) And yesterday I saw a tiny pink thing sticking out down there and I freaked out. Today while I was holding him, I saw the full package. I had to look it up just to make sure it wasn’t anything else!

  12. funnylookingwords July 15, 2015

    Thank you for writing this. I just had the same experience and I’m glad to see I’m not alone! I’ve had a male cat for 15 years as a kid/teen, and two other male cats for the past ten years, and I’ve never seen it before tonight. So weird.

    In related news, my small, female poodle mix pup likes to hump that cat when she thinks no one is looking. My parents have the pup’s sister, and she humps a stuffed dog. All kinds of weird.

  13. Kee August 18, 2015

    Hilarious! Our male cat also kneads but he’s gone next level and while his pinky is out, he kinda grinds his hips… It’s awfully disturbing.. Especially when your knee jerk reaction ‘eeww he’s humping the blanket’ is in front of a 10yrold kid lol

  14. Kim October 21, 2015

    Omg I just saw my sweet baby angels pink thing tonight yucko it literally horrified me !! Glad I’m not the only one though

    1. Katie Hoffman October 28, 2015

      YOU ARE NOT ALONE

  15. Jane November 25, 2015

    Oh man, I’m so glad you wrote this, because it definitely just happened to me. I have three males and I never EVER thought about their weird dicks. Because no. And of course, last night I happened to notice the cutest one’s while he was grooming. After a google (I’m probably on a list now) I found like eight thousand links for UTI symptoms, but he seems totally healthy and normal. I’m really glad this saved me a vet’s call because I honestly don’t know how “I saw my cat’s penis, is he broken?” would play there.

  16. Lauren January 16, 2016

    So, I was hoping the same situation had happened to someone else…. And hopefully another female, with a male cat, would understand. I’ve had my cat for running on 3 years (and adopted 2 more cats on the journey)…. And only now have I seen my cat’s member. Frankly, I’m a little traumatized… Hahahaha. I understand and appreciate this article. Thank you.

  17. Shannon Reece February 19, 2016

    Hysterical! I came across your blog while googling, ” boy cats penis is it normal? ” Hahahaha…. I’m glad I’m not the only one with an overly affectionate ( and now seemingly creepy and perverted) sweet baby kitty. My boys are getting their 6 month old balls cut off ASAP!! I want no pink penis spine coming at me while I’m giving belly rubs!

  18. Rose33 March 19, 2016

    I was horrified when I saw my 6 month old kitten’s pink thing for the first time… He’s the first male cat I’ve had. But he gets neutered on Monday so let’s hope his pink thing makes less appearances now! I made my boyfriend Google pictures of cat penises because I was so horrified and needed him to understand why.

  19. Danielle March 24, 2016

    Well, I’m OBVIOUSLY here because I googled “Why does my male cat get a boner” lol Pumba always flips over to have his belly rubbed. He’s right and neutered. While he was pawing the sky BAM..Pink member! Ewww! I was like really? We are not like that buddy. Now I’m traumatized..By the way, awesome article!

  20. Cat April 18, 2016

    Yup, here from googling “neutered cat red rocket”. Little sh!t comes and lays on my elbow, so of course his cute little face needs some scratching. He starts “making biscuits” on my arm. Then, all of a sudden his BACK paws get in on the game and the next thing I know he’s licking his junk and I’m swearing never to scratch his cute little face ever again. Trauma, yo.

  21. Sivan May 11, 2016

    This post made me laugh so much I cried. I can’t believe how EXACT your reaction was compared to mine. When I saw the pink thing I FREAKED out and now every time my cat meows loudly or gets into crazy kneeding-mode I get really awkward! I’m all like, can you take that to a different corner please!!!!!

  22. Shelby Taylor August 25, 2016

    I saw my 4-month-old kitten’s red rocket for the first time a couple weeks ago lol. Male cats don’t actually get true erections unless they’re intact and in the vicinity of a female in heat. It popping out occasionally just happens when they’re really relaxed, so really it means he’s comfortable enough around you to “let it all hang out” so to speak. However if you see it a lot after he uses the litter box, it could be a sign that he’s straining to poop and may need to be checked out by your vet.

  23. Kippie Wesner December 11, 2016

    Thank you for sharing. I’m no longer terrified of the little pink thing! I’m also in the Chicago suburbs! For a split second, I thought you were actually in Hoffman Estates based on your last name, haha.

  24. Jen December 12, 2016

    I just had a similar experience with my neutered boy who is just under a year old. It totally freaked me out, as this isn’t my first male cat, but it is the first time I’ve seen a cat’s wiener just hanging out like that! Your story was hilarious, and it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one made uncomfortable by my cat’s tiny, threatening dick! Lol. However, if it happens often or occurs along with things like frequent licking, peeing outside of the box, or if it’s swollen or looks irritated, it can be a sign of an infection. Just wanted to throw that out there for any other inquiring minds.

  25. Esther Olubi December 18, 2016

    So, I just googled “should your cat’s penis show when you are petting him?” because my 9-year old Maine Coon, Frodo, just surprised me with his pink pointy wiener while I was petting him just now. I’m glad to find someone else who had a similar horrifying experience. Lol. We both took a nap and I’m up while he is still snoozing. I caught him peeking at me and reached over to give him a belly rub and I see….it! I dunno why this is disturbing because I’m all for being aware and open about your sexuality but this,,,,,this sorta caught me off guard. He’s still snoozing, but he seems not to be my lil baby anymore. Yes, yes, I know he goes out on nocturnal outings, but I didn’t want to know about his sex life *wails* Lol, I love him too much, so he’s still my baby. We just have to never speak of this. I have 3 other cats (2 males and a female) and now I have to be careful not to inadvertently see their wieners too, 🙁

  26. JoAnna December 24, 2016

    Oh thank god I’m not the only one! My cat is obsessed with his penis. I’ve googled and asked the vet and nothing seems to be wrong. He’s just a perv. He’s a gratuitous penis licker, and will make eye contact with you while he does it. No wonder my female cat hates him. Cat penises are terrifying. I’m so glad I’m not alone.

  27. Abbey Lentz February 15, 2017

    i’ve had my cat filbert for about 12-14 years now and never once have i seen or wanted to see his -thing- but tonight it happened and i agree with the statement that it changes EVERYTHING. golly, it does. it’s bad.

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